Saturday, 13 May 2017 16:02

Technology perfect for incredibly lazy people


Spaceships and Large Hadron Colliders are cool for the geek set, but we like our science a little more practical. Frankly, why is technology so geared toward people with purpose in life? What about us regular folks? We all know a bunch of nerds put on a man on the Moon, but have they ever a moon pie in a man's mouth? What about those who spend their lives on the couch, and still find that a bit much? What's science doing for them?

That's why we've gathered a few of the best inventions for the motivationally challenged. If you're too lazy to use even these products, well, then you might be legally dead.

The remote control pillowthe-remote-control-pillow Technology perfect for incredibly lazy people

Have you ever been clicking through the channels, lazily shuffling through Bones reruns and golf highlights, when you realize, boy, if I were to fall asleep on top of this remote right now, it sure would be uncomfortable? With its hard, plastic shell, sharp corners, and light 'em up doohickeys, there are few things you'd less want to pass out on than a clunky remote control.

Thankfully, for those of us that are prepared to conk out at any moment, the good people at Journey's Edge have a solution. The Universal Pillow Remote.

That's right: sleepy scientists have invented a remote control pillow, because why can't everything be a pillow? With "large, easy to read fabrics," this plush headrest can control up to six different remotes, so you won't need to constantly be grabbing the down pillow in the bedroom just to watch a DVD!

So, why bother lifting your hand and pressing buttons anymore, when you can just plop your head down on this dreamy device, and let the snores do the work for you?

The mailbox updaterthe-mailbox-updater Technology perfect for incredibly lazy people

Look, you're the type of guy or gal who doesn't expend a lot of unnecessary energy, so why are you forced to get out of bed, walk through your whole house, out the front door, and then open a mailbox, just to check if your mail has arrived? If you wanted to run a marathon, you wouldn't have canceled that gym membership six years ago.

Thankfully, much like fetish porn, Japan saw something missing in our lives and stepped up to the plate. That's how we got the Mailbox Sentry from Thanko. With this handy device, you can remotely keep track of all the past due bills and Land's End catalogs arriving from the comfort of your own couch.

All you have to do is set up an antenna and transmitter inside your mailbox. When the mailman delivers ten pages of coupons, a number will pop up on your receiver indicating how many items you've received. As for you, well, you can just sit back, relax, and know that awkward conversations with your mailman are a thing of the past.

The remote control garbage canthe-remote-control-garbage-can Technology perfect for incredibly lazy people

Has this ever happened to you? You're comfortably sitting in your favorite chair, when you realize your lap is full of garbage. What are you supposed to do? Get up and dispose of it? What if you miss the last five minutes of that Family Matters rerun? Well, that's unacceptable. And now unnecessary, because with the Gombia Go Remote Control Garbage Can, the trash can will come to you.

No more begging your girlfriend to take your burrito wrapper with her. No more hiding all those beer bottles under the couch. Nope, the Gombia Go will never say it's tired, or that it's not your slave, or that you guys need to have a talk because you're taking it for granted. It will just wiz on over and gobble up that garbage, lickety split! Now that's a relationship worth investing in.

The nightstand fridgethe-nightstand-fridge Technology perfect for incredibly lazy people

You're in bed, half asleep, when the urge to have a beer and a chicken sandwich over takes you. You could walk all the way into the kitchen, but that would involve fully waking up. Nope, if you're going to sleep eat, you want it to be as convenient as possible.

That's where the good good people at Man Tables come in. For the low, low, kind of high price of $599, you can order your own nightstand with a built in refrigerator. That way, whatever you want to cram in your food hole in the middle of the night, will be right there waiting for you.

The robot lawn mowerthe-robot-lawn-mower Technology perfect for incredibly lazy people

How many times have you sent the kids out to mow the lawn, only to realize you don't have any kids? What are you supposed to do then? Mow it yourself? During nap time? Thankfully, there's now a solution. The Husqvarna Automower 315 25 Watt Rechargable Automatic Robotic Lawn Mower. That's a lot of words for a pretty simple idea: it's a robot that mows the lawn for you.

Now, we all know robots are scary. They're destined to rise up and kill us all. That's just common sense. But for now, they're our slaves, and that means we can force them to do all the hard work, while we bask in the type of relaxation only someone with a healthy amount of disposable income could truly understand. So enjoy your robot slave now, because the time is coming when you'll be mowing its lawn. And, friend, there's nothing relaxing about that.

The plant growerthe-plant-grower Technology perfect for incredibly lazy people

If you're anything like us, you've killed enough potted plants to be charged with a war crime. Thankfully, a new product funded on Kickstarter may be the answer to your prayers. What are you supposed to do, water your plants every day? Read that little card thingy that tells you how much sun it's supposed to get? Still remember you have the thing a week after buying it?

Well, with the Click & Grow Indoor Garden, you have to do nothing, which is definitely something you're good at doing. This device comes with seeds and soil, so you just water it once, turn it on, and watch those plants grow. It doesn't matter how lazy you are: the LED lights do the work for you, the seller dubiously claims! And tricking someone else to do your work has gotten you this far, so why stop now?

The toothpaste squeezerthe-toothpaste-squeezer Technology perfect for incredibly lazy people

How many times have you been running late for work, or an interview for work, or for a relaxing session of thinking about looking for work someday, when your toothpaste messes everything up. In this modern world, who has the time to squeeze and squeeze and squeeze that tube, wasting precious time you could be using to pick out a cool hat or go back to bed for a few moments?

Well, the iLifeTech Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser is the answer to all your problems, because this little device does the squeezing for you. Use it once, and you'll wonder how you ever got by squeezing your own toothpaste before.

Source: This article was published on

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